Thursday, January 31, 2008

Dreams of the past

I haven't been sleeping very well recently, but I have been dreaming. The weird thing is that I feel like I'm dreaming while I'm only half asleep so when I wake up fully I remember the entire dream instead of just pieces like normal. The weirder thing? I've been dreaming about boys from home. Not like "Oh I really like this boy" dreams like I would have had about them in high school, but more normal dreams like, I see them somewhere and we talk for a while cause its been so long since we've actually been able to do that.

A couple days ago it was Matt I was dreaming about, which in all honesty makes sense, I still think about him a lot, especially now with everything thats happening with his son, Joshua (if you're interested check out his wife, Susie's, blog here ). I know I miss talking with him because I think about it so often, he's like the only person I could spend 3 hours on the phone with and not want to hang up, I can't even do that with Ryan. Its just hard having him be so far away with a whole family I've never met. But still, good for him, I'm proud of what he's doing with his life, he turned out better than a lot of people thought possible.

Last night, however, surprised me. Andy was in my dream, and I'm not sure thats ever happened before, not even in high school. It wasn't anything weird, he was just there, and I think we were at a basketball game of something. It just kind of struck me when I woke up. I miss him, I really miss him. Not like that should be surprising, but usually its more around homecoming that I realize how very much I wish I still got to see him on a regular basis. And this just kind of came out of no where.

My life is full and I don't regret anything or anyone in it right now, I think I just miss have two big piece of my life be solely in the past and not part of my present at all. Sometimes I feel like life would make a little more sense if they were still around...